Here I am, in my sunny apartment waiting on the movers.

The last few weeks have flown by, with guests, and packing and meeting friends.

Last night, some of my lovely gayboy friends came by to help me carry the 10 boxes down to the first floor.  As both of my colleagues are away on holidays, one in Japan and one in Africa, I’ve been working from home all week. Which has been ace, actually.

I can get up and work in PJ’s from 9-12.30, then jump in the shower and run around to the local Boterham store (if you are in Amsterdam you should check this place out, get a yummy fresh made sandwich and fresh OJ and sit along the canal and eat watching the boats!) Then with boterham in hand back to the house and make a cuppa and chill for a bit. Run through another couple hours emails and orders with the sun streaming in the windows behind me, then go out for a beertje and a chat with whomever is around. Having the laptop in the house has been great as I can check emails from LA around 8pm ish and make sure all is in hand, thus saving waiting another 24hrs for an answer.

Yesterday I cycled to the Geemete to de-register in the city, I went down to where I registered and was stared at and handed a sheet. I expected nothing less as they are really rude in that office, true disgruntled civil service that are the same no matter what country you are in. So I cycled then to the town hall to hand in the forms. What a difference, big smiles, nice chat, I mentioned this to a Dutch mate last night and he was just as shocked as I, “What? a NICE person in the civil service?? How did you find her??”  LOL. So there you go .. as of 21st September I will officially no longer be a resident in AMS

How do I start to tell you how I feel about that? Hmmm…

I do love Amsterdam, even a lot of the things that bugged the hell out of me at first, I now like. Like waiting 20mins until the waitress can be bothered to acknowledge your existence when you are dying for a beer, I now carry a book or ipod and just chill. Not getting anything up to 5cent change back when you buy something, I now pay by pin or realise that its great not having a heap of 5cents in your change jar.

I really love my friends here, I know that sounds like a stupid thing to say, I mean who doesn’t like their friends? But really I have been so incredibly lucky to have met almost the most incredibly fantastic people. At least 20 of which I know I could call real true, call them in the middle of the night, persuade them to call in sick and go off traipsing somewhere, will sit with you for hours in a hospital kind of people!

I am really happy with what I’ve gotten out of my time here, I know I can go out  into the world and Create a life for myself, Create a community,  Create a professional identity in a huge corporation, Create a Home I love.  Without the back up of, oh you must be so and so’s daughter or cousin or workmate or whatever. I turned 30 here and I do think I really went from kid to adult in the 18 months I’ve been here.

In truth I think it was that change in me, the time to really assess what it is I want that has brought me to this decision. I know I can make the big decisions and I know I have the balls to make them work for me. The truth is that although I know I could stay here for years and make a life here, my life is too important to waste on a job I don’t love, that I don’t think makes anything of my talents.

All that noble stuff said, I’m CACKING myself.

I was crap at Uni the first time. I hated it; hated the place, the people, the crap weather, the lack of money, the living in some-one’s garage in Limerick!

To think that this time 3 weeks I’ll be in a classroom full of impressionable kids, with my fantastically calm and capable cousin as the teacher, FARK. Double pressure, if I screw up my whole family will know! I cant spell (as witnessed by all the wiggly red spell check lines as I look up) I am rubbish at maths, I cant say my name in Irish. I will be assisting a class of 8-12 year olds… chances are they’ll be teaching me!!

I’ve been behind a desk (allegedly) for 8 years…. 8years of half decent pay and 18 months of very decent pay. What am I doing walking away from that?? Nuts, that’s what I am.

I have (apart from a few hiccups) lived away from home from 1996 … I will be a bag lady sans abode for the next 9-12months. Part time with my mum in the midlands, part time with my gf in Dublin, and part time on the Dublin-Sligo commuter route! *groan* Looking round my lovely and incredibly empty apartment, yes I do believe I am crazy!

Still somewhere in there I do believe that I am doing the right thing….. *fingers crossed*

Well things have been quiet here, and in a way for a very definite reason.

I have wanted to blog, I have wanted to talk to you and ask advice, but silence was needed for a while.

After 7.5 years in Media, I have handed in my notice and will return to study at the end of September.

Some might argue that walking away from a job i know back-ways with a fab paycheck in a great city in the middle of a recession, is bordering on madness…. there are times I agree. However, the “office job” was supposed to be temporary and now its day has passed.

My job is great and like I said comfortable and salaried, relatively stable and poses no great challenge.  But its not what I love, and moving to another company showed me that in dayglow colours. The vast majority of my 7 and a bit year stint was in Dublin in a place that became a second home to me, I loved the people, the job just allowed me time with them. The job here … was the same stuff, minus the family, so in essence it was a husk of the old world.

I am glad of it though, the opportunity to move to this city and make a new start for myself. Being here has been amazing. I have to say I’ve never clicked with somewhere as quickly. I adore Amsterdam. Its a fantastic place rich and diverse and in constant contradiction with itself. It is very settled in who it is yet constantly rebelling against the preconceptions of what those who throng its streets and canals think of it.

Again for me it was the people, I have met a group of people here that are outstanding. In 18 months I have met people I feel as if I have always known.  Truly I have been very very lucky.

But it was not meant to be permenant and the door has opened to a new part of my life and I’d be a fool to close it.

I applied for and was accepted to do a postgrad in Montessori method teaching for 3-12yr olds. I begin on 29th September in Dublin.

This will remain Elf-in-Amsterdam, regardless of the Elf’s coordinates on the planet, a large part of her will remain in Amsterdam.

(plus I have loads of drafted crap I have to put up here relevant to Amsterdam, that I havent finished as I wsa to busy enjoying the place)

—Turn away now if Hormones, Emotions and “girly things” make you queasy —

Wow talk about a 48 hour rollercoaster!

I have to say I’m pretty lucky when it comes to hormonal mayhem caused by good ole Auntie Flo! Mostly I’m ok, bit teary, bit meh, bit tender in the breasts…. nothing too much, and I take it in my stride *mostly*

Have to say think its only my due I calculated that I have been “fertile” for 22years, as I got my first period at 9. So I should have a hold on it by now.  They arrive on time (I only know this since I got my itouch and the period tracker app) and last 3 days… all good.

This week was NOT one of those cycles, oh it came on time, not that being “late” would hold any fear for me as the chances of falling pregnant accidentaly are non existant. But my did I land with a bang!  I’d like to thank all my lovely Twitter mates, SineadCochrane, NiamhSmith, CurlyDena, Mrs_Bopp, Distantrambler, Vickiocall, donnam13 .. even the boys, Icedcoffee, fergbyrne and the lovely EvertB tried to offer comfort and advice.

Thankfully I am aware of my cycle tendencies to know that when I hate pretty much everyone in sight, and feel the need to kick you in the head if you put a hair out of place, then something may possibly be awry! I try to be easier on myself and give myself some space and time away from everyone, for my sake and certainly for theirs.

Yesterday I thought I was losing my reason, my head was clouded in red, I just did not understand who had filled the world with the stupidest people in the world, and worse yet, WHO in the name of all things, decided to send them ALL in my direction on THAT day of all days!!

I swung from wanting to maim and injure the poor sales guy that asked me to send tapes out on an unfinished contract, to running far far far away from the sound of the trains that pass my office every 2 mins, to crying because there was no milk in the fridge. By the end of the day the only thing I was sure of, was there was no way in hell I was going back to that office the next day.  So grabbing the spare laptop I announced that for everyone’s safety I’d be working from home today.

It took me a long time to get used to my cycle, being so young when they began I was allowed all manner of special treatments. I got 3 days off school every month, and when I was angry or weepy I was just left alone, with no reprimand. It was only when I was 16 and had been getting this treatment for 7 yrs that my Mum, god bless her, told me to cop on and get over it.  I don’t mind that I became fertile so early, although I do worry if I will become infertile quicker… perhaps that’s why I’m so broody, does my body know I’m running short of time?

Which brings me to the other symptom of my cycle, other than wnating to take a machete to slow walkers on Nassau St, or headbutting colleagues for no reason, being extra sarcastic, generally weepy and craving crisps (yeuch). If Im on a bad hormonal cycle, I get EXTRA broody.

I’m pretty broody as it stands, you know this but while hormonal I am considerably beyond the norms. So of course I end up watching (and crying) at any programme about babies/children/motherhood/pregnancy. I was doing ok today, kept busy and then went for a drink with mates, came home…. and what was on iPlayer… oh yes…

read more…

Well for a short time anyway…… I will return to my blogging proper soon.

So lets see, what have we missed?
Well while I’ve been up to my fuzzy mop in yawn-worthy project ….. the summer has started (allegedly)

Mum visited… and we went to the Keukenhoff… photos on flickr

Tuilps from Amsterdam

We had Queens day, which despite its National Drama, and some more personally experienced drama, was a lovely time.

I went back to work and things just moved along…..

I will say that living here lends a lot of time to thinking and planning, which is in my opinion something I am glad for. Being here I have learned to really listen to what I think or feel about a situation, to depend on my own reaction and thoughts and to stand up for what I want. I always put others opinions on what I should do or how I should react as the more important. I second guessed and self doubted as if it was an Olympic sport that I was in training for.

Here; I am my own person, of my own making. I loved that when I came here first I could almost begin again, as a 30 yr old If I wanted to be decisive and confident I could be, and no one would be able to judge me on previous experiences or on past failed endeavours.

So all this thinking and inner confidence building up has produced quite the effect, to my mind anyway, and be prepared for the next few months, as the fruits of my thinking time come out and shine.

So that’s the Elf? What of Amsterdam?

Well Amsterdam is as it ever was, I’m enjoying the summer, the longer evenings and the sun on my face on my way to and from work. My *new* bike, purchased in February has proven to be the most fabulous purchase ever, I love it so much. Cycling the 19km round trip is a breeze and in hail, rain or sun (I don’t do snow) I cycle to work and everywhere besides. Actually I have gotten extremely ‘dammer about it, as was pointed out by a “newbie” who remarked that I cycled the 2min walk to my local Sunday brunch spot, and why not, isn’t it even quicker by bike!

Cycling does give me a fantastic freedom, I never wanted a car and I wasn’t pushed on learning how to drive. But once I got over the paralyzing fear last summer of the first few months, and especially since the new dream-bike, it has just really improved my life quality. Even with the crap bike, in the winter I missed cycling, I missed the exercise and the brain stimulation. So now I am *getting* to ‘dammer proficiency (I’ll never be a Shaun who whizzes kamikaze style) but I can pedal my own!

Summer is definitely in bloom with many of my friends pregnant I know 3 couples now eagerly awaiting bundles of joy and poo! Even some of my utterly wonderful gayer-boy  mates are contemplating procreating, which makes me really happy. I have to say, a nicer bunch of people you couldn’t find!

Im really looking forward to this years Pride, we have a few of the family participating in the Drag Queen Olympics and then we are going to set up camp at our vantage point early, so we can brunch and rink in the sun, and await the passing boast bedecked in carnival and nearly naked beings!

My apartment had its own dramas this spring, after one particularly bad spring storm there was a leak from the roof, which bypassed the upstairs apartment via their kitchen wall, and ended up ALL over my bed. It was so bloody annoying, although not as annoying as dealing with the agency. Quick note for anyone that is moving here, contact me regarding agencies, they charge like a mofo and do nothing to help when you need them.

So for now I will leave you, I have to say I’ve missed blogging, I may not get back to the Lenten Post a Day rhythm I had. But I will be back, as my plans and the summer unfolds I promise you now at least two posts a week!

Drinky Links and Amsterdam Cool need an airing too!

Elf!